Page last updated:
2008-02-23

Some things in life are the greatest, while others are just darned sucky, and for some bizarre reason, I'm compelled to let you know just what I think those things are—displayed in quick–n–easy lists below. (This would make excellent bathroom reading.) Just remember—this and 25 cents will get you a cup of coffee at Denny's.

Female Celebrities I'd Marry Dyan Cannon Diane Keaton Morgan Fairchild Beverly D'Angelo Connie Stevens	Fave Hotties from My Childhood Ricky Schroder Jason Bateman John Schneider John Stamos Chad Allen	Things I've Never Done Women Skiing Heroin Eat a bug on purpose Ask for the "Rooty-Tooty- Fresh-'n'-Fruity" at IHOP
My Favorite Guy Names Christopher Andrew Michael Ricky Nick	Some Animals that I'd Never Eat Possum Squirrel Snake Rabbit Deer	The Worst Shows on TV 3rd Rock from the Sun The Nanny America's Funniest Home Videos Crank Yankers Happy Days
Bad Films I've Seen with Even Worse Titles Nude on the Moon Microwave Massacre Deathrow Gameshow Kung Pow: Enter the Fist The Curious Dr. Humpp	Divas Whose CD's You'd Think I'd Own (but I Don't) Cher Madonna Karen Carpenter Christina Aguilera Barbra Streisand	Things I'm Ashamed to Admit that I Once Liked The Smurfs Anything with hearts on it Yanni CD's Flashing colored Christmas lights Plaid
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