My personality
Who's
David,
and is He
Nuts?

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Page last updated:
2010-01-19
You're probably shaking your head in confusion and asking, "Who the heck is this David person, and why did they let him out of the mental institution?" Here's your chance to learn some sketchy details about me, glance at a photo back "when I was innocent," and let you hear the voices inside my head. ("They're talking to me!!!!")
Home Page and Special Features
What's There to Do in Dallas?
It's a "Gay" Thing
The Rest of this Mess
I Think the TV's Talkin' to Me!
The Guy Behind the Curtain
Who's David, and is He Nuts?
I was Born the Son of a Sharecropper...
My Insane Family
A Love/Hate Relationship

Write Me!

The Basics and My Photo
 

My photoMy Name: David or Dave (*not* "Muffin"!)
Where I Live: Dallas, Texas
Astrological Sign: Scorpio, but I don't believe in that stuff
Sociability: Introverted unless I know you well
Fave foods: Sonic Slushes, Twizzlers, linguini w/pesto sauce, and Mexican food
Best traits: Easy-going and funny
Worst traits: Right—like I'd tell you!
I wish I knew about: Interior Decorating and Spanish
Mac or PC?: Mac, definitely
Worst fear: Being trapped with my parents
Smoker?: Yuck, no!
Religion: Agnostic, but I find religion interesting. (It was my college minor.)

My Personality
Laughing pup
I'm not a member of any religious cult, nor have I ever voted Republican (nor will I ever). I also don't date Republicans. (Hey—I've gotta have *some* standards, ya know!)
Laughing pup
I'm just a darned cheery guy with an offbeat sense of humor. I smile and laugh a lot. Every once in a while I get moody, but only when it's my time of the month!
Laughing pup
I'm very interested in pop culture and psychology, but I couldn't care less about art, history, cars, sports, or the Stock Market. I also maintain that there's a difference between people who have bad taste by choice and those who don't know any better.
Laughing pup
I have absolutely no use for mornings—nothing important ever happened before noon. Somehow, though, I haven't been able to turn the world around to my way of thinking.
Laughing pup
I'm absolutely crazy about blondes (real or from a bottle). I'm sure there's some deep-seated psychological cause behind this, but I don't know what. Of course, being blonde isn't a requirement! Guys with brown or blue eyes and dark hair are cute, too!
Laughing pup
I've been accused of often giving unsolicited advice. Hey, I can't help it that I'm a fount of wisdom! (They probably mocked Confucius, too!)
My Thoughts
Sigmund Freud
Children are made to be eaten. They scream; they poop; they cost a lot. I'd rather have a 72-inch plasma TV.
Sigmund Freud
Any gifts I am ever given containing the word Chia will be promptly returned to the giver along with a thorough boxing of the snout.
Sigmund Freud
My idea of a personal Hell is having 500 cable stations, and all of them are showing America's Funniest Home Videos.
And a Little More About My Past
Little kid smiling
I was constantly subjected to frightening foods of my mother's creation during my formative years. Worse yet, she'd make you guess what was in the dishes. The scariest: A bizarre Christmas concoction of tuna fish, oranges, cinnamon, coconut, mayonnaise, pepper, garlic powder, and pecans!
Little kid smiling
Since I wasn't allowed to have other pets, I had to stick with Sea Monkeys. (For the uninitiated, they are actually tiny, green brine shrimp.) It should be mentioned that they die in about a day, make the water smell awful, and don't wear little gold crowns like on the box.
Little kid smiling
Number of "little Korean girls" my mother repeatedly insisted she would adopt because she wanted me to have a sister: One. Number she actually adopted: None.
Little kid smiling
Number of years I've suggested to my family going to the Baby Dolls gentlemen's entertainment club near Northwest Highway for its free Thanksgiving lunch: Three. Number of times my family has accepted: None.